Terry’s Take… April Week 2: Forgiveness
Last week we learned what forgiveness IS.
Now let’s take a look at what it IS NOT.
In Rick Warren’s well-known book, The Purpose Driven Life, he explains that many people are reluctant to show mercy because they don’t understand the difference between trust and forgiveness. Forgiving others must be immediate, whether or not a person asks for it. (And whether or not you believe they have “a right” to be forgiven!)
Trust, on the other hand, has to do with future behavior and it will likely take time to build or rebuild. Warren explains, “If someone hurts you repeatedly, you are commanded by God to forgive them instantly, but you are not expected to trust them immediately, and you are not expected to continue allowing them to hurt you.”
Forgiveness isn’t sweeping things under the rug and saying what the other person did or said was okay. Forgiveness is also not necessarily forgetting what happened. Depending on the situation, it may require a time of healing.
But if you hold on to the transgression like a trump card and play it every chance you get, you can be sure that unforgiveness is still present. This goes against Jesus’ command to forgive “seventy times seven” times. After all, remember that God has forgiven you more times than you will ever have the opportunity to forgive someone else.
In my years of counseling, both as a pastor and a lawyer, I have witnessed the damage resentment can cause. It is like poison that courses through your body. Forgiveness is the antidote!
Today’s Resource:
“Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again” by Lisa Terkeurst
With deep empathy, therapeutic insight, and rich Bible teaching coming out of more than 1,000 hours of theological study, Lysa will help you:
- Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they’re sorry.
- Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today.
- Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now.
- Identify what’s stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead.
- Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness.
This resource is available on Amazon, Chapters.Indigo, and the Mississauga Public Library in various formats.