Terry’s Take… Why do Women and Men Often Talk Past Each Other? – Part 2
I hope you had a good week of observing the difference in the ways men and women communicate. While counseling couples who are struggling, I have found that bringing this difference to their attention has been a real eye-opener. And it can lead to a renewed appreciation of each other!
Well, let’s look how we can adopt this brain science to our every day Christian walk with each other. Two things can be drawn from accepting the biological fact that male and female brains function differently.
The first is to be patient and withhold judgment about the other.
The second is to understand what each is saying in the context of their different ways of processing information.
The man tends to think of one thing at a time. This is suitable for logic which requires the ability not to be distracted. The woman tends to add something to what she hears. If a man asks, “what’s for dinner?” that’s all he means. But the women will read into his question and ask, “Are you hungry?” “Do you want to eat right now?” “Can’t you see that I’m busy?” “Why don’t you make your own supper for a change?” The poor husband is defeated under this avalanche of seemingly irrelevant questions.
On the other hand, when the wife asks her husband what he thought of the wallpaper in their neighbor’s apartment they just visited, he is apt to say, “I didn’t notice.” Men tend to get locked into their left hemisphere while women are happy to utilize both hemispheres at the same time.
It’s useless to claim that communication difficulties between men and women are the result of social conditioning. Studies have been carried out on infant brains that have not had time to be affected by social conditioning. The differences are essentially how God has made us. And as I mentioned last week…thanks be to God.
(As an editorial note here: I have never truly understood why some would want to exclude women from leadership within the Church. I have always cherished their perspective… and while I was in active parish ministry, their perspective has often saved my skin!)
Author Lisa Sergio has written a book entitled Jesus and Woman which is the fruit of studying how Jesus responded to women in a different manner than the way he responded to men. It’s a fascinating book. To women it was “in reach,” touching the hearts of others and carrying out a personal mission. To men it was “out reach,” assigning them a broader mission that extends to the four corners of the world.
In assigning different missions to women and men, Jesus is affirming their personal differences. It is not in the least bit surprising, then, that His different approaches to men and women would be consistent with what science tells us about the structure of the brain. After all He is the God who made us!
Resource:
Jesus and Woman: An Exciting Discovery of What He Offered by Lisa Sergio, available on Amazon